Day: March 21, 2018

Connecting in the ‘Olden Days’

Reading Time: 4 minutes

This started out as a reply to someone’s post I found on Fetlife.com’s ‘Fresh & Pervy’ board. As I was writing, it started to take on a life of it’s own. As my writing and thinking processes often do.  So instead of an obscure answer, it’s something else entirely.


What did we Doms do before technology took over everything? We got frustrated…repeatedly. “Sherman? Set the WABAC machine to the mid-1980s please…thank you”

For all the time that you and many others have spent texting one another, back in the day, it was done by snail mail. And telephone. And btw, you had to pay for long distance service…in some cases, you could rack up a $1000+ phone bill if you weren’t careful. Did you want to send a picture to someone? Break out the 35 mm camera, or the polaroid, because that’s all you had to take pictures with. Since Polaroids weren’t all that prevalent (not to mention the pictures sucked) more than likely you either had a Kodak, Minolta or some other type of camera that used film that had to be developed. Yup…and unless you had a darkroom in your basement, and had the know-how to develop the film, more than likely someone else was going to be looking at what you trained your camera on. So the likelihood that you’re going to be doing any questionable shots was really REALLY low.

How did you meet people? Well, you didn’t have a lot of options, there’s no internet, there are very few munches, and what few there are, are in large cities like LA, SF & NYC. That’s about it. There are racy magazines that have classified ads in them, but for the most part, they’re people that are asking readers to send money for racy pictures. And they’re tantamount to what net trolls are today. They’re making money and giving virtually nothing in return.

But I digress.

I met my first play partners over Compuserve. It was a cutting edge (for the time) computer service that had articles and news to read and a chat service that was called CB. It had channels (Channel 10 was the BDSM themed venue btw) and people were able to connect their computers to the mainframe via smaller computers that were referred to as ‘nodes’. It was slow, but it worked for the most part. But still, it took a long time to get to know someone, because all you had to do was type. And people used handles. So they didn’t always express themselves accurately..and that caused problems when they decided to meet.

Meeting people could be a bit dicey too. This was all very new. And it went through growing pains. A lot of them. Meeting my first online friend was very very nerve-wracking.  I knew them, but again I didn’t know them, since we’d only been typing back and forth for a few months, and had talked on the phone a few times. Going to meet someone in a foreign place (New Jersey), driving about 2 hours and then actually meeting them face to face…was a really big step for someone in their late teens. I’m sure I skipped a lot of the rules we all take for granted today. There was no ‘safe call’, the concept didn’t really exist back then. Our meeting wasn’t in a coffee shop, it was at the friend’s apartment. I ended up spending the night. All of these things again are pretty much listed as major no-nos today, but back then, who was to tell you that it was inherently dangerous? Pretty much no one.

My wife and I met over Compuserve as well. She lived in a different part of New York State, and I actually made a mistake, thinking that she lived near NYC when in fact she lived about 2 hours away from Buffalo. By the time I figured it out, I was already enamored…and we ended up getting married in 1993. Again, a very new concept…we both knew people that had gotten together over the service, I was even invited to an online marriage service between two kinksters…it was hosted on Channel 10 in part. They were able to have someone on a laptop tapping away on the keyboard, translating the service for everyone that was observing.

She and I didn’t bother with that, FWIW. But friends that I made on Compuserve I still have today.

But bottom line, it was a different time, and it wasn’t easy. Though nowadays it seems just as difficult, even though technology has managed to bring us closer. (And in many ways, pushed us further apart)

New Tech

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I got a new phone.  No, I mean a NEW phone.  Spent an obscene amount of money on a Samsung Galaxy Note 8, one day before the 9’s came out.  I know what you’re thinking.  What the hell did you do something stupid like that for?  Well, it’s a really cool phone.  And my Note 5 was getting a little old in the tooth.  And did I mention how incredibly awesome this phone is?  And how new? Did I?  Ok, I did…I’ll stop doing the fangirl thing, it was getting a bit bothersome anyway.  And my throat was starting to hurt from all the squealing.

Generally about every 18 months I get a ‘new’ phone.  But my new is what someone else would call ‘used’.  Because hey, used is cheaper.  I mean a LOT cheaper.  And even though it’s cheaper, it still does what it’s supposed to do, like make phone calls, take pictures and video, be a portable GPS and access the internet and…oh wait a minute, I said I’d stop the fangirl thing…why didn’t you remind me?  Oh wait, you’re not really there.  Well you will be when you’re reading this..but that’s a little too 4th dimension right now isn’t it?  Yes…with Mr. Hawking taking up residence next to Sir Issac Newton and Charles Darwin as his new neighbors…  Yep, I’m editorializing, I have to stop that.  Thanks for the reminder.  No, not you…you.  Well, thank you too.  (Yes, the first one, that I dissed before…well not really dissed…)

At this point, I know my girl is rolling her eyes enough that they’re likely to be nearly popping out of her head, so I’m going to get back on topic.

I got a new phone.  And it was a really good deal.  What am I doing with my old Note 5?  I’m not going to resell it like I normally do.  It’s going to be taking up residence at my girl’s place.  She needs a new phone too.  So she’s going to get one.  Well, not new…

Hello Spring!

Reading Time: 3 minutes

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ll have noticed that as the seasons change, so does the main header image I use.  Yesterday, rather unbeknownst to me, Spring crept in and replaced Winter.  I was reminded of this by one of my co-workers, who noted that the vernal equinox had occurred overnight, and then went on to some other bit of information..I think it was about one of his cats.  At that point it occurred to me I missed one of my little rituals.

Ever since I was little, I looked at things that changed (like seasons, the New Year) and as I was going to bed, I’d look at the calendar and mutter under my breath “so long X, hello Y where X and Y were replaced with something like Winter and Spring, and then I’d go to bed.  I honestly don’t know anyone else that does this, but I can’t believe there aren’t people that don’t.  Some might take it to the nth degree, but this was my own little thing to do to memorialize an event like that.

I suppose as I get older I’m going to start forgetting to do things of that nature, I’ve already noticed on more than one occasion I’m missing other people’s birthdays, even when reminded of them by FacePlace.  It’s just not so important anymore, y’know?  People that I haven’t seen face to face in better than 35 years, people that I went to HS with but afterward we lost touch due to a variety of adventures in life etc.  We still greet one another on occasion, revel in each others’ accomplishments (when noted) but unless I actually attend a reunion (reminder, your 35th is coming up sometime later this year, buddy) I may never see many of these people ever again.

Oops, got off on a tangent.  Better to end that rant.

Anyway, back to the meat of this entry.  We made it into Spring.  Winter 2017-2018 is done.  Soon the snow will be gone and the flowers will bloom.  Spring is a time of renewal, a time of new life and a time where the temperatures become warmer and we want to spend more time outside.  (Yes I know there’s a nor`easter barreling up the East Coast of the US and pasting places like Virginia and will be burying NYC and Boston and points north.  Do kindly stifle yourself about that, thank you.)

So, to right the ship (so to speak), here goes.  Adios Winter, Hello Spring!

hello spring