Month: May 2018

Antsy

Reading Time: 2 minutes

A little quick entry about getting antsy.

Ant-sy
/ˈantsē/; adjective
agitated, impatient, or restless

I’ve been watching a particular shipping record for the last 10 days, and for the intervening week it hasn’t moved a bit.  It’s something that I purchased for my girl, and it’s coming from overseas.  Anything shipped within my country usually gets here in a timely fashion, but when one adds in an international element, usually things go awry.

I’ve had items from Kickstarter that have come from Hong Kong, China, other parts of Asia, even Australia get here quicker.  Customs can be a pain sometimes, especially when it’s an item that can’t always easily be described on a manifest.  I have to give the shippers credit though, they can be very creative in describing unsual things in the most mundane ways to keep nosy customs agents from possibly breaking into the package to see exactly what’s inside.

The seller that I purchased the item from has updated their communication with me on their website to say that if it’s not here by June 5, they’ll intervene.  Exactly what that means, I’m not certain.  But what I do know it’s more waiting.  And I abhor waiting.

 

An ‘open letter’ to potential future assholes.

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Yesterday when my girl and I were having a conversation, she mentioned to me that she received a message on Fetlife from a guy.  That in and of itself isn’t unusual, women tend to get tons of mail in comparison to most any male on the site.  That’s always been the case, no matter what sort of interpersonal website you’re on.  Women are in demand, even ones that have clearly stated profiles that say they’re not looking.  Guys are going to ignore what’s right in front of them and send a message anyway, hoping to get a hit.

She mentioned this one to me, because in her mind, there was something different about it.  She had gone to his profile, and looked it over.  What she saw there raised more questions than answers.  So she was naturally curious about him and perhaps there was a potential for a new friend, not necessarily a play friend, but when you’re quasi-alone in a new area, you want to make a few friends so you’re not bored when you’re not working.  Someone to hang out with, talk to, go places with.  That sort of thing.  Nothing wrong with that, right?  We humans are social creatures.  We don’t do well in a vaccum.  Ask any shut-in.  Being alone is monumentally boring.

The fellow (I’m being generous here with that description) that wrote didn’t give any introduction, salutation or anything of that sort.  Just a quick dash off message.  “Hi, I’m currently looking for a play partner to have fun with.”  Which is fine, to a point.  However, had he bothered to read through my girl’s profile, it clearly states (in several places) that she’s in a committed relationship, she’s most definitely NOT poly inclined and if someone wished to write to her, they needed to contact me first, not her.  So our interloper is already at three strikes and he’s not even aware of it. (Nor as it later turns out, does he care)

My girl and I both live in the United States, and yesterday was Memorial Day, a federal holiday.  Meaning that most people have the day off.  Someone that works in a service industry may not, as in this case.  So after 5 hours of waiting for a reply, (and not getting one because of the fact she’s at work) our interloper sends another message.  Mind you, my girl is aware that he’s written, Fetlife in no way has a method of informing someone writing that the other party has read what was written, so he’s unaware that she’s seen it, or hasn’t.  His second message is a little more pointed.  And in CAPS, so it’s akin to shouting.  It says (exact quote here) “ANOTHER IDIOT”.    Seriously?   You’re looking for a potential play partner and you send this drivel?  Obviously not caring how it’s going to be received, just letting that shit fly.

So now my dander is up.  I was fine before with having her just send a quick note (almost in jest) to him saying “I’m looking for someone that knows how to read a profile and follow the rules.”  Perhaps at that point he’d realize his error, and write to me with an apology and attempt to start over, or at the very least make things right.  That’s what any intelligent, contrite and respectful person would do.  Oh no, not our boy.  This isn’t going to end pretty.  She asks if she can write him back.  Sure, I’m fine with that, as long as I get to proofread what is headed back in his direction.  She did a fine job, but got a little snagged at the end with how to conclude.  After a moment I fashioned a suitable closing, with a note that I was now aware of his interaction with her and would be contacting him shortly to make my presence known.

She sent it off and we resumed our conversation.  About an hour later, he wrote again.  Not to me…to her. A final shot across the bow, if you were.  Again, in caps.  “SERIOUSLY, FUCK OFF”.  Eloquent to the last.  At this point, I just informed her that she would be blocking him on the site.  Cut off all future communication, he’s a lost cause.  I fully intended to write to him that evening, but a situation arose here with my wife that took precedence (she’s now come down with bronchitis as well) and that needed to be handled (an e-visit with a doctor and a couple prescriptions before the pharmacy here closed helped immeasureably) so it got stuck on the back burner.  I didn’t actually get to bed until almost 1 this morning, but by then my desire to write back to this asshole had abated somewhat.  But not entirely gone away.  Which is why I’m writing about it here.

Perhaps someone reading this tale that is thinking about doing the same thing to someone else out there will read it, take it to heart and NOT do that very thing.  Be the better person.  Be intelligent.  Read the rules and follow them.  It’s not all that hard.  Follow the golden rule (not the one about whoever has the gold makes the rules), treat others how you’d like to be treated.  Quite honestly, at the time, if this asshole had been in front of me, I would have throat punched him for talking to my girl that way.  No one deserves to be treated like that.  NO. FUCKING. ONE.  He damn sure wouldn’t have done it if we were at a munch and standing in front of him.  So why do it elsewhere?  On his profile he states quite prominently that he’s been in the military and has a concept of what honor and respect are.  Definitely didn’t show it yesterday.

My girl and I had a really good day yesterday.  In spite of this person.  But it would have been even better if we didn’t have to deal with it.

 

Did someone get the make of that truck?

Reading Time: 1 minute

In case anyone is wondering why this blog has been silent, here’s the explanation.

I have bronchitis and feel like a truck hit me, backed up, got a good running head start and ran me over again.  Then again for good measure.  Even after a day off on Wednesday, by Thursday I only managed 2 1/2 hours before I had to give up and come home.  (You have NO idea how hard that was for me).  Fortunately, I had Friday off, and went to see my GP.  He diagnosed the bronchitis and prescribed three drugs and told me if I still felt like crap the next day, to call in.  (Calling in to work for me is one of those REALLY hard things to do)

So here it is Saturday morning, the congested cough is still here, I feel like crap and …yep, I’m going to work.  The wife thinks I’m out of my mind, my girl also suggested staying home (and if you knew her, your eyebrows would be at the elevation of K2) as well.  But I’m not really one for sitting around the house, so in I go.

Wish me luck.  I’m going to need it.

Time Constraints

Reading Time: 4 minutes

My girl and I were talking last night upon her return home from work.  She’s been having some issues lately, (physical, other) and we’ve been working our way through them best that we can from a distance.  The one big problem we have is the distance that’s between us physically and the fact that due to (one hopes) a temporary lack of workers at her employment, she’s having to work longer hours.  That impacts heavily on the time that we can communicate with one another.  In the evenings it’s difficult, since the wife and I don’t eat early, more later and about the time that it’s necessary to be putting my girl to bed.

She doesn’t like to go to bed on her own.  We have created a ritual where she gets ‘tucked in’ and it’s evolved as rituals do.  But we attempt to do it every night, even though sometimes it impacts on my dinner time.  Consequently I’ve been working on making dinner earlier, which as I understand also helps with digestive issues.  The wife and I are both overweight and have been most of our lives.  We’re slowly trying to do something about it.  Well, she more than I at the present time.  I still eat like a teenager (or worse sometimes).  Through modern medicine, I’m apparently keeping certain issues at bay, but even that won’t last forever.

At present we’re also in the midst of planning our next ‘vacation’ together.  It’s been now 6 months since we’ve seen one another and it’s starting to wear on the both of us.  I was reading a blog last night before bed about someone else that’s planning a similar get together and their last time was 18 months ago!  Good grief.  Not to make comparisons, but how do you keep the magic going for a year and a half being separate?  The best (?) I was able to do with my former submissives was 7-8 months and even then we were having issues with continuity.  Every time we’d get together, we ended up going over the same patch of ground BDSM`wise and I firmly believe it was a great cause of the eventual demise of said relationships.  If you can’t move ‘forward’, you’re never going to accomplish anything, and you’ll end up dooming yourselves.

We stay in contact as best we can, though I know there are times she wants even more contact, and admittedly it makes me uncomfortable.  But I do it for her, since she feels that she needs it.  I understand that I have the wife here for companionship and she doesn’t really have anyone where she lives.  She’s relatively new to where she lives and due to more and more responsibilities at work, she’s been unable to get out and really make new friends.  So it falls back on me to keep her entertained when she’s not using artificial means (computer, television, etc) to keep her from going bonkers.  I am a social person, but only to a certain extent.  My wife and I don’t really communicate a great deal, for the most part she and I don’t talk much over the course of a day.  That’s more due to me than her, I recall during the early part of our courtship she wanted to talk all the time, and it just wasn’t doing it for me.  I can be very solitary at times.  I like peace and quiet.  Probably why I prefer the company of a cat.

We’re definitely working on the relationship bit by bit, but we both agree it would be easier if we could see one another face to face more often.  Food for fodder.  Something to get done.

To all the mother’s out there and mother’s to be…Happy Mother’s Day.

 

Kickstarter

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’ve been supporting people who have projects of Kickstarter for the last 6 years or so.  If it’s new, or piques my fancy, I’ll probably have a few bucks in it.  Some things work out, others don’t.  I’ve put my money into an innovative ice cream shop in Cannondale, Colorado (bust, they didn’t stay in business for more than a month) supported several indie films and have gotten in on several cutting edge (at the time) technological projects you may or may not have heard of; (Hudly, Beastgrip, SELFly, SideKick) several books, and even a fellow in NH who had the desire to turn part of his farm into a humane slaughterhouse and butcher shop.  (As for this one, it’s been 6 years, but they just got their certification through the USDA, so they may be able to ship out-of-state by this fall.)

With crowdsourcing, it’s very hit and miss.  At least it used to be.  Nowadays, a lot of the projects you see on the site are going to be completed, only because the people who do them have seen what occurs when their predecessors failed, and sometimes failed spectacularly.  When you gain several million dollars (US) for a project and then fail to deliver, your backers can get quite boisterous.  And downright nasty.  A lot of these backers fail to remember they’re for the most part investing in an idea, not necessarily a full-blown product.  So there are going to be issues with production and unforseen mishaps along the way.  Mishaps mostly cost money.  You may have a widget that you’re wanting to bring to market, you do your due diligence, do your research, find a manufacturer, the right components and all that, and the first run fails for some unforseen reason.  Now you might have enough money to make the run again, or you might have just blown through your capital and don’t have enough left to finish the project.  Now you have backers that are expecting the product you promised.

I just received in the mail yesterday something called a Hudly.  It’s a Heads Up Display, a lot like what you might see in a fighter jet, except it’s for your car.  We all use our phones in our vehicles, even to the point of what might be construed (depending on your locality) as illegal activities (texting, talking on the phone, or looking at the screen for directions instead of looking at the road).  The Hudly gadget eliminates the need for looking down at your phone because it mirrors what’s on the screen and displays it on a see through screen that sits on your dashboard.  Neat, right?  Too, it sits on your dashboard unobtrusively, and it’s powered by the cigarette lighter/12v aux socket.  Since very few vehicles anymore have a cigarette lighters in them, they have multiple aux sockets (my own 2016 Ford Edge has 4!) it’s relatively simple to power this contraption.  About the only thing you need to worry about it has to drape the power cord so it doesn’t get in the way of all the other doodads on your console.  With a few cord directors (that come standard) you can fix that relatively easily.

As of this writing, I haven’t had a chance to try it out yet.  But I hope it will become a good investment, and not just another piece of technology that ends up sitting gathering dust.  Time will tell.  Though I expect I’ll continue supporting other Kickstarter campaigns that interest me.

Change of the Guard

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Warning: Geek talk ahead.

It’s been about 3 years, it’s time for a change.  No, not that sort.  This is more technical.  About every 2-3 years I change the identity of my SSIDs and the passwords that go along with them. For WiFi access to my home network.  Since I have older equipment that runs on the 2.4 GHz band as well as the 802.11g frequency, I have a dual band router.  But both SSIDs are visible to the neighborhood as well as to anyone that might be passing by or visiting.  I can’t have something completely technical, but it has to be me as well, so about every 2-3 years I change the names.  I’ve gone through my Harry Potter phase (2.4 was Dumbledore and 5.0 was Hogwarts); most recently I did my Greek God phase, where the 2.4 band was Hephaestus (the God of fire & metalworking [there, my geeky/kinky fetish for metal]) and the 5.0 band was Ares (God of War).

Generally I leave the guest accounts alone.  I honestly think they’re good choices (2.4 is GuestOfUs & the 5.0 band is StrangeWomenLivinginPonds).  If you can figure out why the 5.0 band is named the way it is, well, I’ll be more than happy to offer you a coconut.

Of course when you do a change of this magnitude, there are going to be hiccups.  Especially when you don’t mention to the wife that you’re tweaking the home network.  About an hour after I had switched everything over, she tapped me on the shoulder and informed me that she had been unable to access the home WiFi for the last 45 minutes.  Oops.  When I told her what I had done, I got an eye roll and the offending bit of technology, since it’s my job to ‘fix’ things when they’re broken.  Or borked.  Once I put in the new info, changed the password and handed it back, all was well again.  Until this morning, when I had to change her tablet’s info.  Of course, this reminded me that I needed to change the house repeater, which was still set on the old network info, so the wrong SSIDs were being broadcast upstairs, essentially blacking out that part of the house.  A few other things that also communicate with the router need to be changed, but I’m getting to them as needed.  I’ve almost gotten the 5.0 SSIDs password memorized, since that’s the one I’ve been using most often.

At the very least, I won’t have to revisit this for another 2 years or so.  Not sure what I’m going to use at that time for identfiers.  Probably Avengers.  Fwiw, I do the same thing with my hard drive names.  At the present time, they’re all CS Lewis characters from the Narnian book series.  Told you I was a geek.  Yes, and a dork, thank you for reminding me, pet.

Worthy of a share!

Reading Time: 1 minute

Getting a reference from a top’s friend or current play partner is like asking Donald Trump what he thinks of Donald Trump. Get references from people your potential play partner isn’t on good terms with. When someone tells you how obedient you should be as a sub, ignore them. Kink is supposed to be fun. It’s not a religion […]

via Things I Wish I’d Known About Kink from the Start — The Ochre Muse