Time Constraints

Reading Time: 4 minutes

My girl and I were talking last night upon her return home from work.  She’s been having some issues lately, (physical, other) and we’ve been working our way through them best that we can from a distance.  The one big problem we have is the distance that’s between us physically and the fact that due to (one hopes) a temporary lack of workers at her employment, she’s having to work longer hours.  That impacts heavily on the time that we can communicate with one another.  In the evenings it’s difficult, since the wife and I don’t eat early, more later and about the time that it’s necessary to be putting my girl to bed.

She doesn’t like to go to bed on her own.  We have created a ritual where she gets ‘tucked in’ and it’s evolved as rituals do.  But we attempt to do it every night, even though sometimes it impacts on my dinner time.  Consequently I’ve been working on making dinner earlier, which as I understand also helps with digestive issues.  The wife and I are both overweight and have been most of our lives.  We’re slowly trying to do something about it.  Well, she more than I at the present time.  I still eat like a teenager (or worse sometimes).  Through modern medicine, I’m apparently keeping certain issues at bay, but even that won’t last forever.

At present we’re also in the midst of planning our next ‘vacation’ together.  It’s been now 6 months since we’ve seen one another and it’s starting to wear on the both of us.  I was reading a blog last night before bed about someone else that’s planning a similar get together and their last time was 18 months ago!  Good grief.  Not to make comparisons, but how do you keep the magic going for a year and a half being separate?  The best (?) I was able to do with my former submissives was 7-8 months and even then we were having issues with continuity.  Every time we’d get together, we ended up going over the same patch of ground BDSM`wise and I firmly believe it was a great cause of the eventual demise of said relationships.  If you can’t move ‘forward’, you’re never going to accomplish anything, and you’ll end up dooming yourselves.

We stay in contact as best we can, though I know there are times she wants even more contact, and admittedly it makes me uncomfortable.  But I do it for her, since she feels that she needs it.  I understand that I have the wife here for companionship and she doesn’t really have anyone where she lives.  She’s relatively new to where she lives and due to more and more responsibilities at work, she’s been unable to get out and really make new friends.  So it falls back on me to keep her entertained when she’s not using artificial means (computer, television, etc) to keep her from going bonkers.  I am a social person, but only to a certain extent.  My wife and I don’t really communicate a great deal, for the most part she and I don’t talk much over the course of a day.  That’s more due to me than her, I recall during the early part of our courtship she wanted to talk all the time, and it just wasn’t doing it for me.  I can be very solitary at times.  I like peace and quiet.  Probably why I prefer the company of a cat.

We’re definitely working on the relationship bit by bit, but we both agree it would be easier if we could see one another face to face more often.  Food for fodder.  Something to get done.

To all the mother’s out there and mother’s to be…Happy Mother’s Day.


One thought on “Time Constraints

  1. I understand how you are Daddy, and your likes and dislikes. I greatly appreciate your sacrifice to communicate with me and tolerate the fact that I need it. I also understand you and your wife don’t talk much over the course of the day. (More on your part).

    Let me share some of my feelings with you that may better help you understand me. First I’d like to point out, even though you and your wife don’t communicate much over the course of a day, you know she is there. If there is an event or if you just wish to how out to eat, whatever. You always have someone to go with you. Maybe your sitting at home on the couch watching a show, relaxing by yourself in that room. You’re still not alone, even if y’all don’t talk you may hear a noise, the creak of a chair when she moves, the shuffle of her feet, even when she sneezes, or coughs, or just clears her throat. You know she’s there. Subconsciously you know you’re not alone. Yes you have your private times, either in separate rooms or if she goes out with a friend or vise versa, but at the end of that day you know you won’t be alone. So you see consciously and unconsciously you have that comfort and reassurance.

    As for myself I do not have these comforts, I have been married most of my life. 25 years to be exact. As you know this past year I have been alone. It has been a very hard and rough year. It has and still is hard to get used to. I no longer have that person I can jump up and just go do something with, I no longer have those little reassuring noises. What I have is silence, what I have is an empty apartment that I come to everyday. On my days off I may go to a restaurant to treat myself out, but I don’t eat in. I get take out and eat at home alone because I don’t wish to sit and watch everyone around enjoying the company of their SO or a friend, child whoever they may be to them. It is very depressing to watch knowing I’m still coming home to an empty apartment. As you know I have tried to reach out to family and friends, for company, for companionship. Just to be able to be with another human being so I don’t feel like I’m the only person on this planet. But sadly it doesn’t turn out that way. I still come home alone, I still do everything alone. It truly does dampen ones spirit. As many times as I have tried and failed, it doesn’t particularly make you want to run out and try again.

    So of course I run to the one that I know loves me and wants me. But when you say stuff like ‘it makes you uncomfortable’ or ‘it intrudes on your dinner with your wife’ I’m sure you can figure out just how that makes me feel. I know we are working on seeing one another more, I know our ‘vacation’ is coming up soon. And I look forward to that as much as I look forward to waking up the next morning. I love you more then words could ever express, I’m extremely proud to be your property. And can’t wait to have your collar locked around my neck.

    But please understand where I am right now, please understand just how strong your words are. Please just understand me. ????

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