Month: October 2018

Poly Schmoly

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Polyamorous relationships are not for the timid.  I think that should be understood right from the beginning.  Secondly, one needs to have a good understanding of what they all entail before getting themselves immersed in one.  The reason I’m writing about this is; my girl is presently dealing with issues involved with the couple that she’s been seeing for the last month or so.  Honestly, I wasn’t completely on board with her desire to enter into a poly relationship with the couple, but she felt she needed outside companionship since we’re unable to get together for long stretches of time.  The couple claimed to have a fairly good understanding of what poly is, how it affects the core relationship, and that they were well suited for bringing in another into said relationship.

Well, apparently they oversold that last one.  Without going into too much detail, soon after my girl was ‘officially’ incorporated into the couple’s dynamic, problems began to crop up.  (Or perhaps the problems were already there, but they now had the opening to come out) Jealousy flared from one side, even though apparently the other partner was either unaware of it, or was too timid to get involved.  Which to me sounds a bit childish, more than a little bit irresponsible, and finally downright mean.  In the last day or so it got to the point where the aggrieved partner faked a heart episode and demanded to be taken to the ER.  Once there, it fell upon my girl to ‘be the adult’ and be responsible, even though she was clearly being played.

In the meantime, I’m up north here, hearing about it, watching it play out and feeling my stomach be pulled into knots knowing I don’t really have much say in how all of this plays out.  Naturally, when there’s a problem, I get a text message, a call, or some other form of communication from my girl letting me know about it.  At this point, if I had the funds, I’d drive down there and start knocking heads together.  If for no other reason, than just to feel like I’m able to DO something.

As it stands right now, my girl is pretty fed up with these people and is distancing herself from them.  How much distance remains to be seen, but as usual I’m attempting to be as supportive as I can from a distance.  

Even now, I’m a bit hesitant in posting about this.  But this is my forum, this is what’s going on in my life, it’s MY damn journey, so I’m writing about it.  There.  I feel better.  Now off to rake some leaves, to get some of this pent-up energy expended.

Seasons change

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Summer has given way to autumn.  I know that because of the subtle temperature changes that have come forth in the mornings as I head out to work.  Sure it’s still somewhat warm, but I’ve already started to look forward to my Keurig Chai Latte (and laid on supplies from Amazon in the past week) in the morning instead of a cup of flavored water.  Too, I’ve started to use the heater in the bathroom again, I’ve broken out the plaid sweatpants that I wear in the evening instead of parading around in shorts as I’ve been doing the past few months.

I’m also seeing the change in colors of leaves here in the northeastern US.  A definite hallmark of autumn.  At least I don’t have to deal with the literal mountains of leaves I used to have to when I was living with my adoptive parents.  Try having 2 1/2 acres (1.01 hectares) of trees dropping leaves on your property every autumn and see what you might have to do to get rid of them…at least then we were able to burn the leaves without having to jump through endless hoops…I doubt the people who own the property now are able to.

Finally, it’s going to affect when and how myself and my girl are going to be able to get together.  Due to financial constraints and other instances, our plan to get together every couple of months has gone by the wayside.  I can understand and appreciate that she has issues with driving in snow, so it may very well be the soonest we can get together again might very well be come spring 2019.  That remains to be seen.

We’ve talked about it at length more than a few times.  We’ll talk more about it in the future, guaranteed.  The bond is strong.  It will happen.  Just have to be patient about it.

And I hate being patient.