I was thinking the other day, since I don’t have an active partner to play with, at least not here. Still. But as I said, I was thinking about all the time that I’ve spent in the scene, and how much of it I’ve actively participated. When I say ‘participated’, I mean actually being there, with someone else, playing interactively. Not online, not in a chat room, or on the phone, hot texting one another, or writing elaborate paper mails to one another, then waiting for them to read it several or many days later. Then waiting again for the return letter and so on.
Actual ‘in the trenches‘ play time. Where you get your hands dirty (as well as some other things). Doing a little figuring, I came up with a rather sobering total. And it wasn’t pretty. By my estimation I’ve been part of the BDSM scene since I was about 18. I’m not going to go into the nuts and bolts of that, because it’s not a good conversation to have here. So let’s say 18 for the sake of argument, or who else might be reading things. I’m now almost 54. So that’s 36 years between the two. In all of that time, what I would term my active experience comes out to a little less than 6 months. 6 MONTHS. Told you it was a sobering thought.
Even now it makes me wonder how all of that time managed to skate past. Though I know the old adages; Life gets in the way, finances don’t always come together, and the most often one, there’s no one to play with. So you just sit back on your heels, live your ‘other’ life, and try to keep your hand in the game, by watching others enjoy themselves, going to munches, networking, doing a little negotiating, perhaps attend a play party here and there, but me, not being the voyeuristic type, doing that is just maddening, because I’m not a good watcher. And yes, as I’ve mentioned time and again, building up a nice toy collection. That now as before gathers dust in a couple bedrooms in my house.
Just throwing this out here, since it’s been hanging around in my head for a few days now and I need it out in the open. Thanks for listening/reading.