Tag: collar

Collar 2.0

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I remember talking to myself about this when the first one was lost so soon after it was presented.  I remember at the time promising myself the next one (though there should never have beennext one) was going to be more permanent, or at the very least harder to get off, so it wouldn’t be laid aside, and possibly be lost.  But after a year and a half, here we go again.  However, unlike the last one, the clasp is a bit more sturdy and less likely to come loose at a moment’s notice.  Still, the links are made out of aluminum, not steel, so it’s not impermeable either.  It’s going to have to be cared for, to be sure it’s around for the long haul.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to present it to her personally, I’m forced into mailing it to her, which admittedly is a bit impersonal, and I’d rather not have to do it this way.  Our next meeting isn’t going to be until the spring however, so this is going to be the best that we can accomplish.

We’ll see how it goes.  If this one gets lost or broken, I’m going with Ring of Steel, or Eternity.

Crossroads

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I look at the calendar.  Another day passed since I saw her last.  I can still remember what she looked like, what she smelled like when we parted.  I gave her the hat I purchased for myself at the museum so that she had something else of mine to keep close to her.  At the time, we had been planning to get together again in a couple of months.  But that didn’t happen.  Then more suggestions of when to get together.  Those didn’t happen either and winter set in.  

During winter, it was as if there was a wall set up around one of the state borders, and it was made of ice and snow.  Where she lives, it occasionally snows, not as it does in the Mid-Atlantic region where I reside.  Too, her vehicle isn’t completely reliable in many ways, so driving a good distance isn’t recommended.  Another roadblock of sorts, that keeps us apart.  Of course, at this point, we talk about the big bugaboo, money.  Working full-time when you’re living alone doesn’t afford you a lot of ‘mad money’, or funds for outside activities.  Especially when you’re in an industry that doesn’t pay all that well, even when one has the experience.  So saving money ends up being literally nickels and dimes, which doesn’t afford one the ability to be free to travel.  The last two times we got together, I either paid the lion’s share of the costs or accepted what she could at that time afford to contribute.  The first time I rented a car and drove 10 hours to see her.  The second time, we met approximately midway between the two of us.  That time I drove the family vehicle.  I have to admit, I was pretty shocked how much it cost to rent a vehicle for a week the first time.  Astronomical was the word I believed I used then.

As the days count down towards the one year mark for the time we’ve been apart, it makes me more and more melancholy.  Sure, we keep in touch via social media, phone calls, texts and the like, but it’s most definitely not the same thing as being there.  Spending time with her, even if it’s just sitting on the couch, watching television together, or her sliding down off the couch to rest her head on my knee while we’re doing whatever.  Having that physical contact is key, and it’s what we’re missing. I hear about her adventures with her poly family, and honestly, it bothers me that she gets to have adventures, and I don’t.  I’ve been sitting here spinning my wheels for 344 days.  Too, it reminds me of the collar fiasco.  I thought about getting her another one, but if I’m not there to see it, to enjoy seeing it on her, what’s the point?  And besides, it’s another outlay of my money for her benefit.  So it too got shelved.

Finally, I’ve given up shopping for toys.  I have so many here that have no purpose, no use, other than taking up space in the house.  My wife looks at them, then at me, and doesn’t ask the question we both know she’s thinking.  “what are you going to do with all this stuff??”  Honestly, right now….nothing.

Ugh, this is hard to write.  But its harder still to endure.  I have no idea what the solution is, but I am extremely tired of waiting.  And watching.  And observing.  And being left out.

Bedtime.  Good night.

Collar 2.0, revisited

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Last year I made a foray into collaring my slave.  Given that we’re separated by 3 states here in the US, and she has a job where she interacts with the public a great deal, initially we had decided on something that was, or could be ‘mistaken’ for something less than it actually was.  Unlike fiction, anything can be considered a ‘collar’, per se.  With a previous submissive, we settled on an ‘Eternity’ cuff, a steel circlet that could be made semi-permanent by the fact that it was secured with a screw.  If I had kept the allen wrench that controlled the screw, then (at least in theory), I could control when it was on and when it was off.  If my submissive were creative, and wishing to be ‘bad’, she could get an allen wrench on her own and remove it if she wished.  But we didn’t have that sort of relationship, she honored the cuff as well as the symbolism which it engendered, and I allowed her to have a wrench in case it needed to come off for some reason, unforseen by either of us.  And it worked, for as long as the relationship lasted.  I still have the cuff, she returned it to me about 6 months after we parted ways.

For my current charge, after searching high and low for the ‘right’ collar, I found an artisan on Etsy that crafted jewelry that was both aesthetically pleasing as well as functional.  Granted the artisan in question lives/works in Russia, so getting something from her was going to take some time.  Too, since my slave informed me that she doesn’t so much like a necklace/collar that rides too high on her throat, I had to have a longer than normal version of the collar crafted to accommodate her needs.  All in all it took a little less than a month from the time that I initially contacted the artisan, to the time when the collar arrived in my mailbox.  Fortunately, it coincided with my trip to visit with my girl in Pennsylvania last year and during a little ceremony in our hotel room, I presented her with it and she began wearing it as close to 24/7 as she could.

But then tragedy struck.  The collar was lost during a trip she had made to a local (for her) beach.  To her credit, once it was discovered as missing she immediately went back to the place where she had been (it was close to the middle of the night) to search for it, but unfortunately it wasn’t to be found.  Needless to say, I was less than pleased.  I paid a good amount of money for it, and in the space of a couple of months, it was gone.  Just like that.  I have to admit, it was the first anything of that nature that a submissive of mine lost.  Considering that it was only in her possession for a little over a month, I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to get something else in the same vein.

It’s now been seven months since the last collar escaped.  In that time we’ve had several conversations about ‘when is she going to get a new collar‘.  As before, it’s not an easy answer because it’s not an insignificant investment.  Especially since we now can confirm something that can be removed can easily be lost.  So in spite of the fact that she has a preference for something that’s loose around her throat, I’m thinking that it’s going to be my preference this time, that it be something that’s difficult to remove.  Not impossible, since we’re separated by mileage and hours, but something that requires invested effort to remove.

So, the main purveyors in this genre are Eternity and ROS (Ring Of Steel).  (There’s also Damax on the continent, but due to shipping issues and overseas exchange rates I’m mainly concentrating on domestic suppliers) ROS has a version that’s they refer to as a ‘Stealth’ collar, in that it’s only 1/4″ diameter steel tubing.  Consequently, it tends to be less noticeable, or allows it to fade into the background, as it were.  Of course, as I’ve noticed over the years, it’s usually the person themselves that either call attention to something or not, depending on how they wear it.  If the wearer treats the item as an extension of themselves, then others don’t necessarily look at the item as something unusual. If it’s the reverse, and they’re uncomfortable with it, then it tends to get noticed more often.

In order to do this right of course, I need an accurate measurement (again).  We have a visit planned for the end of April or the beginning of May, so I can get her neck measured and if I’m completely certain, I can send off the order to whichever business I determine is going to give me the best bang for my buck, as well as can have it completed in a fair amount of time.  Small time artisans don’t work on an assembly line, they’re not putting out wares for the masses, at least you hope they’re not.  As the old saw goes; Quality vs. Quantity.

There will be updates.  This isn’t the final decision.

Chance encounter

Reading Time: 2 minutes

There are times when I think that it would be nice if my eyes could double as a camera.  But, we’re not to the point where we can do that sort of ‘cyborg’ implants.  The reason I was musing about that today was, while I was at work, I chanced to encounter a customer wearing an ‘Eternity Collar‘.  She wasn’t being obvious about it, but as she was passing me, apparently something in my expression caused her to stop and speak to me in a low voice.  She said, “what are you thinking?”  After a moment of surprise that she was talking to me, I replied quite nonchalantly, “it looks better than Ring of Steel.”  And I walked away.  I think I surprised her with my reply, if nothing else.  She didn’t follow me, or say anything further.  I went back to work and when I looked around a few minutes later, she was nowhere to be seen.

Now, I can say that I’ve seen people in my place of employment that are fairly obvious in their supposed kinkiness.  Not everyone can be nonchalant and pull it off successfully.  Personally, I don’t think anyone has a clue about my kinks, since I don’t broadcast them far and wide.  The only thing that might suggest to someone about my proclivities is; I have a leather pride flag tag on my key chain.  But in all the time I’ve worked there, no one has asked me about it.  It’s quite clearly NOT an American flag pin, the colors of the pride flag are fairly distinct in their own right.  They’re most definitely not red, white and blue.

So, that was my little chance encounter at work today.  As a side note, the woman appeared to be at the store alone, there wasn’t anyone with her, at least not that I could see.  I wasn’t stalking her, just being observant.  So I do wonder what -she- thought of the encounter.  But of course I’m fairly certain I’ll never know, or find out.  And that’s ok.  Just another mystery.

Collar 2.0

Reading Time: 2 minutes

collar01So, we’re back to square one, so to speak.  We tried a collar that was removable, for purposes of convenience, beauty and affordability (though the last one was a bit of a stretch, considering what I got was a custom job) and due to an unfortunate occurrence, we’re back to where we were several months ago.  Now, my knee-jerk reaction would be get something a bit more secure, with a lock, or even something that has an ability similar to a lock requiring a screwdriver to remove.  Actually that was my initial desire, but my pet doesn’t like something that close to the throat, so I have to come up with a different solution.

I’ve been looking in all the familiar places (Etsy, eBay, Fetlife, Tumblr) but I haven’t been satisfied with what I’m looking at.  I need something that’s durable, yet lightweight, not necessarily something that’s going to be on first glance understood to be what it is (with the above collar, obviously people think it’s a necklace, and it is, but it also isn’t).  Circlet collars like ROS or Eternity are pretty bold statements, since they’re not easily removable, so your average vanilla is going to look at them and think to themselves that it’s hardcore, and in my girl’s line of work, that might be more detrimental than positive.  (She’s told me that there’s some very outlandish things worn by co-workers, but I’m still trying to err on the side of caution).

Today I went back to Etsy, looking for something similar and after about an hour, came away less assured that this is going to be an easy fix.  There are more places to look.  I remember the angst I was feeling the last time.  It’s back.

Lost!

Reading Time: < 1 minute

20180626_233254Well, our worst fears have been realized.  The collar is missing.  My pet was on an outing over the weekend with her new friends, had to remove the collar for some activity involving water, and it got misplaced.  I must stress that in my mind it’s not her fault, she expected it to be there when she went to put it back on, and it just wasn’t.  To her credit, she looked all over where she was, and even went back to the place where she’d been earlier in the day (not a small feat!) and looked for it diligently.  But as what happens in many cases, it was not to be found.  So its on to a new place, where I hope it has many interesting adventures.  Certainly something like this sucks, but we move on.

 

Successful vacation

Reading Time: 2 minutes
 

Yes, I know I’m overdue for a blog post.  It’s been a whirlwind week.  Actually, sometimes it’s hard to believe its been 6 days since I was getting ready to head out to visit with my girl in Pennsylvania.  I had brought my laptop with me to keep track of everything and was intending to chronicle the visit, but atypically, we were so busy I only unpacked it once and used it to check emails and a couple of blogs that I habitually follow, and that was about it.

Generally, though, that’s what happens when you have limited time, and are trying to squeeze so much into so little.  We’d been apart for 7 1/2 months but only had just under 3 days to accomplish what we wished to.  By the numbers (I’m an analytical sort) we were going to have 70 hours together. That sounds like a lot, but you have to figure 24 hours of that was going to be sleep, so that brought us down to 46 hours of time. A little less than 2 days.

Even so, I think we got a lot accomplished. I took her play cherry, she got to experience subspace, we made some inroads in what she can take, what she likes, (and yes what she might NOT like) and more solidified our relationship. From what she was, to what she now is. We’ve been dancing around the term ‘property’ for some time, but aside the legalese, I’ve claimed her as my own. She now wears my collar, belongs to me, and can show a physical item to anyone that wishes to be made aware of that. We’ve been on a path for about the last year, in my eyes, that path has now narrowed a bit. Where once we walked side by side, now she follows. On my leash, in my ownership and she’s very content with that development.

More to come, this was just an overview of the event that recently took place.