Tag: collar

There’s something to be said…

Reading Time: 3 minutes

…about concentration and being able to do so under pressure.  Case in point.  Right now it’s 1:30 am and I have to be on the road in about 8 1/2 hours.  For the most part yesterday I ran errands and did a fair number of things around the house that should have been done in the last couple of weeks, but being me,  I always wait until the last minute.  Sometimes the very last minute.  But I managed to get most of them accomplished.  Suffice it to say the hedges in front of the house are now trimmed back to a more aesthetically pleasing level, the lawn is mowed and trimmed in all the right places and finally, I got the marigolds and impatiens planted in the beds in the front of the house.  Yes, I know they should have been planted about a month ago.  Hush.  This evening the wife and I had soup and sandwich for dinner because that was inherently easier than cooking anything else, and we’d already dropped a good amount of cash at the grocery store earlier in the day, and that basically was part of what we shopped for.  The rest was frozen food for her to have while I’m away and some other bits and pieces of the puzzle so she can survive while I’m out of the local picture for the next few days.  After that, a little chatting with my girl, then I headed upstairs to pack not only my clothing but more importantly my toybag.  Just coincidentally, it was still packed from when I went to visit my girl back last November, so I needed to remove all that stuff, catalog what I had, list what I needed to bring this time, and pack that.  Made a list of what I needed to have in other items, packed both my bags and set them aside for today.  There are other things that I can pack in the morning, like my pillows, my CPAP machine and a few other odds and ends.  Yes, the cookies too.  A damn good thing I don’t like macadamia nuts or those 4 dozen cookies would be halfway gone.

While I was out and about this morning, I happened to spot a vintage automobile, and it just so happened to park at a place across from where I was getting my lunch.  Fortunately, I had my phone with me and got a picture of it from the back.  The funny thing about this area is, there’s a fair amount of people here that own Ford Edsels.  Honestly, I’d never seen one in person before I moved here.  I can’t really imagine why they never caught on when they originally were for sale.  They’re a really handsome car when you think about it.  At least I think so.  Btw, that’s not an Edsel, I was just musing on the fact this place is lousy with them.

A definite boom, and possibly a little bust

Reading Time: 4 minutes

It’s always difficult when you’re purchasing things sight unseen, and even moreso when there’s a time constraint.

The other day, I was checking my email and there was a new posting on a board that I frequent on Fetlife.  It’s a ‘For Sale’ board for people that either have new things they want to sell, or things they no longer have a use for, and wish to make a quick buck from their excess.  Some things are good, others not so much.  As with all yard sale type items, it can easily be boom or bust.  But, there are times when you really find a good bargain and that’s why I keep an eye on this board (as well as a few others there).

One of the things I most definitely keep an eye out for are restraints & impact toys. Dungeon furniture not so much, as usually they’re unwieldy, they don’t break down easily and they’re cost-prohibitive to ship.  But things like floggers or single-tail whips, or restraints can easily be packed together, stuffed into a flat rate postal box and for less than $20, shipped across the country in a maximum of 3 days.

Such was the case last week, when a fellow posted that he was parting with his set of steel shackles and collar.  He posted pictures of them on his profile, along with measurements, which is a handy thing to do.  Most people that post on the board aren’t so thoughtful, it can be a myriad of banter before you get a better idea of what measurements are involved, and whether that particular item will fit the person you have in mind.  Even if the person is yourself!  Not everyone is the same size, so measurements are important.  Too, pictures help!  Not everyone seems to understand that.  They post a static item, and don’t include a picture!  How is someone going to know what you have for sale without a reference point?

As I mentioned above, I get an email when a new post is made on the board, and the post had been there for several hours before I saw it.  No one had contacted him as yet (that I knew of) so I sprang into action.  Checking out the pictures he had referenced, it appeared that the only wrinkle might be with the collar.  The shackles themselves seemed to be rather on the large side so if anything my pet might be swimming a little in their circumference, but that’s easily rectified.  One can expand the area with wrapping, going the other way isn’t so easy.  The one constant about metal is it’s rigidity and unforgiving quality.  Either it fits, or it doesn’t.  But for me, 2 out of 3 is still good odds and honestly the price was acceptable.  I know from shopping several sites that ‘build to order’ when you do custom work, the price tag goes up.  So I was already expecting a problem with the collar, not so much with the wrist and ankle restraints.  I contacted the seller and he responded pretty quickly.  That doesn’t always happen!  A few messages passed back and forth, he thankfully accepted PayPal (though I discovered PP has closed a particular handy loophole I used to use) and we were off to the races.  He did his due diligence and marked the items as SOLD on the site, but I was distressed that he removed the pictures from his profile at almost the same time.  No matter.  They were coming to me via US Mail in a few days, I could do my own measuring.

I had hoped they would arrive on Friday, but he was unable to post them until Wednesday so they arrived on Saturday while I was at work.  I received a text from my wife around lunchtime to let me know “a really freaking heavy box” had been delivered to the house that morning.  I didn’t open the box until late in the evening before I went to bed, but as I expected, the collar was a bit small, but the shackles fit me, so they’ll fit my girl.  I’m going to of course try it on her before I make any other sort of decision, but the shackles are definitely staying as part of my toy collection.  So as of right now, 2 booms, and 1 possible bust.  But I still think I made out very well.

More Opportunities, more toys

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Oh brother.  I have to say I’ve never been one to pass up a good bargain.  I’ve always said that it’s a good thing I don’t have an inexhaustible supply of money, because I’d end up with a warehouse full of BDSM toys.

I bought another toy that was on my bucket list last night.  Ever since I started using the computer to connect, I’ve also used it to watch porn.  And in my kink formative years, there always needed to be something with restraints in them.  Now rope restraints are all well and good, leather restraints do the job, but there’s nothing quite like seeing someone struggling in cold, hard steel restraints.  Just gets the juices flowing.  At least it does me.

When I was watching Insex during the late 90’s and early 2000’s, I was always floored at the cornucopia of metal toys that the owner of the site had.  I learned later that almost all of them were hand-made, forged from raw steel by a fellow who went by the alias ‘KGB’.  I’ve said many a time if Intersec/Insex ever had a garage (or estate) sale of the items that were made for the various websites, I’d be nearly the first in line.  You just can’t pass up good workmanship!  So, in the same vein over the years, I’ve been haunting sites that sell old gear, from people who have either gotten out of the scene, or want to make some quick cash selling things they don’t have a use for anymore.

I’ve been a member of Fetlife nearly from the beginning of that site.  I’ve also been a member of their ‘Kinky Items For Sale’ board for many years as well.  Certainly I’ve gotten more than a few good bargains from that board in that time, with people who have taken good care of their toys, but for one reason or another they either don’t wish to be active and want to re-home their past purchases, or they just don’t want them anymore.  For every person that wishes to sell their used panties (ew), there are people that want to part with quality floggers, restraints, bondage furniture and other goodies at fairly good prices.  Even better than eBay I’ve discovered, and way better than Craigslist (I’m continually reminded of the woman who posted for sale her late husband’s St. Andrew’s Cross, stating that it was a very fancy clothes hanger).

Certainly there are many places one can get forged steel toys, and even at better than average prices.  But when someone offers them at a discount, it’s sometimes a race to get it before someone else can contact them.  Which just happened to be the case last night.  Within about an hour and a half of the person posting them, I was able to broker a deal and purchased them.  Of course, with such a quick sealed deal, I have to be certain that they’re going to fit my pet.  But, that’s something that we can discover when she visits.  And if not, I can always resell them.  Because there’s always someone willing to buy.


Finding the right collar

Reading Time: 5 minutes

As you’re no doubt aware, my pet and I have undergone a change in our dynamic.  Having done that, there’s a need for new material to cement things in a more corporeal way.  A collar.  When I’ve had other pets, slaves, submissives, at some point each one had a collar to wear either day-to-day, when they visited, or even in on a semi-permanent basis.  My pet and I have discussed this at length, but at the end of all, it’s my decision on what she’s going to wear day to day, or when we meet to play.

That being said, it’s not always so easy to find just the right one.  There are so many different choices out there, not to mention you have to take into consideration what might be considered unobtrusive, or gaudy, or inappropriate for one’s work responsibilities.  I know many people that didn’t give that the proper amount of thought, and it had disastrous consequences.  I’d like to make the right choice the first time so that there’s no need to make a second choice because the first one caused problems.

Too, my pet has never been collared before.  When the pendulum was swinging the other way, she wanted me to have a collar that I could wear every day.  I found that to have a myriad of problems, one that I don’t normally wear jewelry (even a wedding ring and I’ve been married almost 25 years!) and when I’m working, something that would be too obvious would be (at least initially I think) would be too much of a topic of conversation.  Perhaps it was me being self-conscious, I’ve spoken to others that have worn or been adorned with eternity collars and ROS’s and most of them say that if there’s attention drawn to you, it’s mostly because you’re the one doing something that brings people’s attention there, not the other way around.

Ecuff02We’ve talked about it at some length, and it would be better to have something that for now would be easily removable if necessary, and wouldn’t get in the way of her work.  With the last submissive I had, we’d agreed instead of a collar she would wear a bracelet that was mostly unremovable.  It had an Allen screw embedded in the steel and she could wear it to work, have it on at home, out and everywhere else that she went with me, or went to by herself or with others.   It worked for the most part, the only thing she and I discovered was that it endured a lot of abuse, as it was continually hitting the counter at the pharmacy where she worked.  Even so, the quality of the steel held up (after all it’s metal) although some of the satin patina was starting to wear a little bit from all the abuse it was taking.  But our relationship ended before it either became more of a problem or some other arrangement could have been made or contemplated.

It’s been a couple of months and believe me, I’ve looked at hundreds of collars.  All different styles, different materials, but I want something that’s going to be sturdy and won’t be required to be replaced over time.  A leather collar won’t do it for day to day, since it will wear over time, seeing as it’s going to be in contact with skin and oils and weather and so on.  Probably some form of a metal collar, but it has to be unobtrusive to a certain degree, as well as durable.  CLT-pendantEarly on in our relationship, I purchased for her a necklace she had been coveting, with a Celtic lion trinity pendant.  The chain that it had come with was a bit flimsy, so I purchased a better one from another vendor and married the two.  She still loves it, but it’s not a day to day thing, and it’s not something I wish to repurpose.  I’m not Irish, even though there’s Irish in her heritage, it’s not ‘out there for all to see‘, so to me, there would be some confusion as to what it all meant, and it’s not really the message I want to be putting out there with it.  Too, the chain might break, it’d get lost and then there’d be more angst to deal with.  So that’s not the option I wish to utilize.

Fortunately, there’s still time.  Our next meeting isn’t scheduled for a few months from now and I expect to have figured it out by then.  So she’ll have a collar.