As a rule, I don’t spend a great deal of time on Fetlife anymore. As the time passes by between when I had personal interaction with my slave, I’ve been finding it’s becoming less and less important to my life. And in a way, that’s sad. But expected. While I still am kinky through and through, my non-kinky life takes precedence. Because work, and life in general become priorities since I’m focusing on them more and more. The adventures in FB Jail just bring that more home to me, that I’m really unable to express myself openly as a kink-friendly person, without their being consequences.
There have been times in the past when I’ve shuttered my Fetlife account. Well, shuttered is too strong a term. On several occasions I’ve contemplated deleting my account and moving on, especially the time when I’d been without anyone (yin to my yang and all that) for a period of 5-6 years. Spending years looking for someone and not finding them takes a toll on you. Increasingly going to a place where people post about the wonderful times they have, and you’re definitely not isn’t conducive to wanting to go back day after day. I had the same experience with the website CollarMe/Collarspace. Though with that particular site, I pretty much knew going in that any ad that I placed wasn’t going to be getting much in the way of traffic. And I was right, for the most part the only views I got were either from transpeople or people looking for something else than what I was offering. One accepts that sort of thing after a while. I leave my ad up there just because I guess I’m too lazy to delete it. Over the years the same thing goes for Fetlife, I believe. I’ve changed my profile a few times, have suspended the account twice in 10 years (could never really bring myself to leave) and just recently accepted the mantle of overseeing a group that seems to be in the throes of dying, just doesn’t know enough to be deleted. Sounds pretty typical, doesn’t it?
In the recent past, I’ve started two munch groups, only to watch the first one thrive for a little while, until apathy killed it. The second one I started, in the same general area, except for being about 20 miles closer to me, worked for a while, but again apathy was what made it go away. People are ok talking to one another online, but ask them to meet in a public place, on an evening, having to travel a little bit to get there, and everything seems to go sideways. Munches work in many places, I’ve just never lived in an area where people are just so unabashedly lazy about wanting to get together. I swear it works elsewhere! Just not here. There’s a play space on the next lake over, that I’ve been to, just not with anyone to play with myself, so that made it boring for me. (I’m not a voyeur) However, others were having a good time, and that suggested to me that interaction was working there, and the group was made up of people who knew one another from several semi-local munch groups among the areas of Ithaca, Syracuse and Elmira.
Ultimately, I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about the Fetlife account. Probably just leave it up and check in on it once a week. I get notifications via email if there’s something happening in either of the groups I moderate, or if I get a message. Otherwise, I think it’s just time to do other things. Have a little fun for once.