You, dear reader, may have noticed that there’s been a change in the title and temperament of this blog in the last week or so. There’s a rather large reason for that, and it is this. My former Miss and I have undergone a switch. I’m now in the driver’s seat, and she’s now the passenger on this journey. (When I say ‘passenger’ I don’t mean it literally, she’s still an active and contributing member of our relationship and dynamic) It’s been something that’s been simmering away in the background, and finally this past week we did something about it.
As always with our discussions, they get quite animated, and even though we’re an LDR (Long Distance Relationship) couple, sometimes they get rather loud (or as much as can be made loud through text and other forms of communication). But, in the end, we came to a mutual understanding, shared many truths (and a few tears) and changed things so that we’re both happier and more centered in us.
Ever since we met in person this past November, I’ve been having feelings and trepidations about our dynamic, and apparently, she had been too. While our time together was wonderful, and intense, it just didn’t do it for me. I felt something was lacking, and that I wasn’t pleasing enough for her (she has disputed this, she felt things were all right, for the most part). There were some hiccups in our play, as happens when people first get together, the things that happen and connect in a purely online environment don’t work in reality. Just like when you envision someone in a certain position that doesn’t take into account their body makeup, and things like gravity and reality, when you are with that person, in person, in a hotel room, you discover it doesn’t work. And hopefully, you didn’t build your entire dynamic around that particular thing, because…well disaster! But we didn’t. This most definitely isn’t my first online to reality BDSM rodeo. Not that I prefer this method, it just seems to be the way that I meet potential submissives (or Dominants). It’s certainly how I met my wife, but that’s another topic/entry, for another time.
During the course of our conversation, my Miss informed me that for several months, she had been feeling more deferential than dominant. It’s not that she feels she’s not dominant at all, that in fact, she was lying to herself, she just said that she would feel better if someone was directing her, taking charge and being in control. The biggest fear she had was that I wouldn’t feel the same way (although on the other side of the slash) and that she would lose me in the process. I reassured her that was NOT the case, it wasn’t going to happen and then I revealed to her my trepidations and thoughts about the last few months as well. That set off a new round of conversation and sharing and we came to the conclusion that we both had been feeling the same thing and it was time to make a change. A switcheroo, if you will.
So, the ‘boy’ has now become the Dominant, and my Miss is now my submissive. She sees herself as my ‘baby girl’, and me as her Daddy, though neither of us is the least bit interested in the DD/lg (Daddy/littlegirl) dynamic. They’re just titles in this instance. Seeing her in diapers with a rattle would be a HUGE putoff for me, and I’m 100% positive that she has zero interest in that as well. Best left to others that are more interested and more engaged in that activity. I have nothing against DD/lg, I highly respect those that are, but really, it’s just not for me.
In the last week since we made the change, things seem to have improved greatly in our conversations and in our mutual overall outlook. My girl has embarked on a move to a different part of her state, and she’s taking on a new job, with new responsibilities and she’s now 3 hours closer than she was before. So in 2018, instead of me having to drive 10 hours to meet her, we both can drive 3 (and change) and meet up more often. That’s a plus! I’d say things are looking up, and we can forge ahead towards more interesting and more mutually satisfying times together. My girl and me. I love her immensely, and I’m oh so very proud of her.
Here’s to the journey ahead.